Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 6, Episode 11
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the eleventh episode of the sixth series. Key *'HD' – Hugh Dennis *'AP' – Andy Parsons *'FB' – Frankie Boyle *'RH' – Russell Howard *'BN' – Adam Bloom *'GY' – Gina Yashere Topics Things You Wouldn't Hear In a Travel Documentary *'FB:' This man lives under a sheet of tarpaulin, and has to walk for three hours every morning, just to get a drink of muddy water. Nonetheless, he is happy, to be mayor of Dundee. *'AP:' This week, I shall be travelling to the Middle-East to Africa to Asia. And if I still can't find my luggage, I'll return to Terminal 5. *'FB:' It's amazing to think that I'm the first white face these people have ever seen. (imitates grabbing a shotgun) And the last. *'HD:' The squawk of parrots, parakeets and toucans... has kept me awake all bloody night. *'AP:' I'm surviving here on nuts and berries. That's the trouble with a documentary funded by Channel 5. *'FB:' On our third day of filming, an incredible discovery: Hippos are just men in costumes. *'HD:' (Impersonating Jimmy Savile) So, I, Sir Jimmy, am in the Gobi Desert desert looking for water, and fortunately, I have found this waddy-waddy. *'BN:' Shit. (laughs) (Gina pulls him off stage) (goes back on stage) This week, we're looking at holidays in Gatwick, 'cause apparently you need a passport to go to Honolulu. *'RH:' Prostitution is life on the streets of Bangkok, so it really pays to go shop around for a bargain. *'FB: '''Don't make the mistake I made. Nudists aren't welcome at every beach or at the local schools. *'RH:' I'm outside the Taj Mahal, and in my opinion, the most beautiful, the most striking, the most awe-inspiring curry house on the Edgware Road. *'GY:' Can you see the lions, and the tigers, and the crocodiles? Yes? Good. I cannot 'cause I am here in Peckham! *'FB: After an arduous three day bus journey, we finally reached the place Ryanair said we were flying to. Unlikely Lines From a TV Detective Show *'''FB: ''(American accent)'' I cut myself on a glass in your bar. I'd throw that away if I was you because I'm Kachelsky, the HIV positive detective! *'BN:' It was simple! I just Googled 'Who done it?' *'RH:' Fingerprints? I like his music, but that's a bit much! *'GY:' Mrs. Marple, You got no evidence, no forensic stuff, nothing. You don't know what's going on. Don't worry, just pin it on the black guy. *'HD:' So, all the suspects are linked. (makes movements with his hands) Thomas knows Malinson, Malinson knows the victim and they all live in a flat. (makes square movements with his hands) But what do I know? I'm only the window cleaner. *'FB:' So what can we tell from these bitemarks on the breasts? We can tell that I shouldn't be left alone with a body. *'RH:' To be honest, Watson, I couldn't care, I'm coked off my tits. *'FB:' If you think it's murder on the Orient Express, you should try the shuttle between Glasgow and Edinburgh! *'AP:' Where has Inspector Frost gone?! I saw him only a moment ago, leaning on the hatch of that wind bar counter over there! *'HD: '''Sure, saw this shit goin' down in da high rise, that's what you get with crack n' blow, but I ain't gonna answer any more of your questions, Miss Marple. *'FB:' Michael Jackson, we've been questioning you for days, and this is your defense?! You blame it on the boogie?! *'HD:' Well, he's got the profile of a killer, see? ''(stands sideways and makes wild stabbing motions) Category:Scenes We'd Like To See